Looking for the Pattern

Sometimes I'm almost obsessive about going with the natural pattern of things.

When my body feels exhausted, I don't work out as planned.

When my brain feels tired, I don't force myself to study or write.

Going with the flow, as I see it, means listening to the signals from yourself and from the world around you, and not fighting forces far bigger than you.

When I used to play Teamfight Tactics, I had a way of rolling for cards that was different from everyone else's. I didn't roll early. I watched which cards kept showing up from the pool, and I built whatever comp they pointed to.

To me, that was going with the flow too. I knew perfectly well that a video game like that doesn't really have a flow to follow. But playing by that logic always felt steady, and my win rate actually wasn't bad.

Even now, I habitually listen to the signals from myself and from the world around me.

It's really a kind of observation. A lot of people can't hear those signals at all.

Take today. In the afternoon I read Dan Koe's articles for a long time, and then some of Deng Xiaoping and the Transformation of China.

Afterward my head hurt terribly. It's only just started to ease up. The thoughts that were so lively during the day, and the things I was getting ready to write, have long since vanished without a trace.

So I think today I have to listen to myself too.