To My Little Brother, Who Is Growing Up

A while ago, I had a long talk with my little brother. The troubles he's going through are ones I went through too. Here's what I want to tell him.

1. It's perfectly normal to have troubles growing up

Our parents didn't get much education. They're simple, honest people by nature, and the ways they could teach us were limited. So it's perfectly normal that you have all kinds of troubles growing up, like nobody wanting to play with you.

I had the same troubles back then. Our parents told me: if everyone refuses to play with you, it must be your problem; if you can't change other people, change yourself.

2. Back then I only had myself, but now you have me

Our parents' ways had their limits, and the help they could give us was limited too. That's how I got through it back then, on my own.

But you're different from me. You have me as your big brother. Whenever you feel lost in life from now on, you can come ask me.

3. You're a kind person

You told me you often get bullied at school. Several times you wanted to charge at them and fight with everything you had, but because of the kindness in your heart, you held back.

You did the right thing. I've always thought you were a kind person, and what you told me made me even more sure of it.

Later I asked you, are you happy? You nodded without hesitation. I said, right, it's precisely because you're happy that you could hold back. There's a saying for this, "the happier one yields," meaning the happier you are, the more you should take a step back in a conflict.

4. Bad grades now don't mean a bad future

I hope that one day you'll be a healthy, kind person. The present doesn't decide the future.

As for grades, being a bit behind right now doesn't matter. In high school, you can go learn a skill, find what you're really interested in, and let yourself grow in more ways.

5. Some things won't wait for you

When I told you about Mom's condition, it wasn't to pressure you into changing.

Maybe a person really does need a turning point to change. But what I want you to know more is this: sometimes, that's just how life is. You always think there's plenty of time left, but actually, there really isn't much.

6. The meaning of life is everything that happens in it

You once said something to Mom: "In the end, isn't life just like this?"

Do you know what that means to someone with a terminal illness? For Mom, the biggest achievement of her life is raising the two of us. When you said that, it was as good as denying her whole life.

But the meaning of life has never been about how things end up "in the end." It's in every real thing that happens along the way.

7. Look back now and then at what has happened in your life

Sometimes you can stop and look back, and see what has changed in your life.

Over these past ten years, who has left? What has happened? Grandpa and Grandma passed away, for one. And you went from primary school all the way to finishing middle school.

8. What can really change your life is learning

When I felt lost back then, one thing I did was read.

Do you know why Mom and Dad always stress that you should study hard? Because as they see it, studying hard is the easiest way to change your fate. Otherwise, all that's left is hard labor.

Now I want to pass those words on to you: studying really is the easiest way to change your life. But by studying I don't mean sitting in class at school. I mean learning. The moment you stop learning, anyone can overtake you. In all my years of working, I've never stopped.

9. Find something you're willing to do for ten years

There's also something called compounding. It means that some things show no return at all in the short term, but if you stretch the time out to ten or twenty years, they pay off in ways you'd never expect.

So go find something you think you could do for ten years, and start doing it. It could be reading, or it could be working out.

In this world, a lot of things don't need grades or degrees. If you want to run, you can just head out the door and run. If you want to read, you can just open your phone and read. In this day and age, you can do almost anything you're interested in, with nothing standing in your way. A lot of the time, you just don't know it yet.